I used to joke that I would never fuck a guy who didn’t have condoms with him. Even if I had them, I figured he was generally unprepared and who knows what he decided to stick it in during a heated moment, like the one I imagined us in, when he didn’t have condoms. Seemed like a simple rule. Until the other night, when I was out with a guy, and totally wanted to fuck him.
How graphic should I be here? I mean, I’m not squeamish, but I am a “respectable” mother, PTA mom, the works. So the fact that I was tired of sucking it and just wanted to fuck it is a bit unseemly. But there we were. And as much as I love sex, I very rarely meet guys I actually want to do it with. I can give you a laundry list of reasons why one guy or another is not getting anywhere with me. All of which have to do with simply not “feeling it,” and not “wanting it” badly enough to do it in a lame way.
Neither one of us were expecting it. I don’t think it was all the beer and wine, but maybe. And there we were, all hot and heavy, bits exposed and wanting more. And he says to me, “shit, you don’t have a condom do you?”
This phrase that had previously been the death-toll of my libido was suddenly the sexiest thing I’d heard in a while. Even in his clearly eager condition, he wasn’t going forward without a condom. And if he wasn’t going to do ME, NOW, without a condom, then maybe he wouldn’t be careless in general. And hey, he wanted me as badly as I wanted him. (Or at least my pussy as badly as I wanted his cock, which isn’t a bad start.) And it’s an opening for next time. You know, always leave them wanting more….
I want more.
I think this is part of how I know I’m old. I still have safety on my mind, first and foremost. I find safety “hot.” Because if he’ll take care of himself and me by using a condom, then he’ll probably respect my safety and boundaries in other sexual areas too. And if he can look me in the eye and ask me for a condom, then he can probably ask me for other things he wants. Maybe even listen to things that I want.
Communication is hot.
A man who can communicate, respect boundaries and handle delayed gratification deserves to be very, VERY gratified.
And so do I.
Which is why it sucked when I got to the gym the next morning, went to pull out my card, and a condom fell out on the gym counter. I did have one, after all.